we're blogging at a bar
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
