i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
