considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
