i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
