He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
