do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
