Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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