Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
