is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
