We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
