does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
