Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
two words: eviction party
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
