I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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