Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
