You're so nebulous sometimes
Buhtt sex?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
