i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
