I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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