Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
