lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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