I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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