What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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