i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
