I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
