Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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