just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
