I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
