There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize