Are we in a gay sports bar?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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