I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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