Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
