We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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