Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize