so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
