Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
