would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
