It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
