Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
