Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize