So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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