Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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