My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
