Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
