I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
