Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Sext me about skeletons
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
