We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Panties = found
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
