So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
