No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
