I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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