I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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