i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
