i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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