I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
