All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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