the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
