Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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